Diary

Thoughts, feelings, vague updates. Might be long or short, titled or not. Also an archive for my "What's New?" updates. Will redo page eventually.

Return?

Featured Song (5/28/24):


What's New? (5/28/24):

Watching: Avatar: The Last Airbender! For the first time! along with my usual crap
Reading: Picking up Harry Potter again! (The Goblet of Fire)

 I don't like to talk about very personal matters publically. I consider myself a somewhat private person. But sometimes I do get negatively influenced easily by things online. So I did the logical (in my opinion) thing last week and took a NeoCities / internet break. I feel so much better!

 I know everyone on here has a manifesto against social media. But one thing I think should be discussed more is the sheer amount of information and connection to others we have at all times. Specifically, I don't think it's normal or healthy for strangers to have a list of information or actions you take online, spanning years. You know? I think there's been some discussion on how younger kids are afraid to make mistakes or be wrong or be cringe because they don't want to be "cancelled". I don't know if that's the most accurate take on the matter, but I think it causes psychological damage to always have strangers judge your every action. Or look at stupid take you had 4 years ago. Or attempt to always be logically consistant so nobody can judge or attack you. I might rewrite my thoughts here to better articulate them, but TL;DR: take lots of breaks offline. Constant perception from others at all times all around the world can't be healthy in my opinion.

 The Japanese translation of Harry Potter is comfy. I bought the whole set of books from a seller on Ebay several years ago. Last year I got the entire set of Japanese translated Lord of the Rings books as well. I've been enjoying the weekend reading, playing with some pets, and relaxing. I've also made more art that I need to scan and upload in.

 I took a day trip somewhere and bought some photography for my walls. It was expensive, but I'm happy to look at it for, well, the rest of my life I guess. I also started watching Avatar for the first time (kinda). I LOVE IT! Sokka is so dumb and funny. Any other media recommendations? Because lord knows I don't have enough things to watch, play, or read. Hope you guys are enjoying the warmer weather and upcoming summer. Oh yeah, also I'm having computer troubles... but I'll try to reply to emails / messages. And add people to the webring! Love you all.

Featured Song (4/29/24):


What's New? (4/29/24):

Watching: X (the TV Anime) plus extras
Reading: To the Terra [JPN]
In-Progress Reading: Heartcatch light novel [JPN], Beloved by Toni Morrison
Honestly haven't had time to read or watch or play games outside of my occupation and packing

 I just moved, so I'm extremely tired and still probably won't be that active still. Moving sucks. I've been trying to organize my new room into a Feng Shui arrangement. Hundreds of Animal Crossing hours have prepared me for this moment. Also if you're gonna watch the X anime, please don't watch the OVA first.

Featured Song (4/17/24):


What's New? (4/17/24):

Recently Watched: Apothecary Diaries, Go Princess! PreCure [JPN], Utena movie
Recently Played (read?): DMMD [JPN]
In-Progress Reading: Heartcatch light novel [JPN], Beloved by Toni Morrison

 I've been busy.

What's New? (4/4/24):

Last Thing I Read: The Heartcatch PreCure light novel (verrrry slowlyyyy)

  I drew this picture of Cure Summer on my friend's oekaki board (link below), but couldn't get it to save for one reason or the other. So now I'm going to subject everyone's eyeballs to it muahahaha. I used a pose reference which was fun and good practice.

  I've been busy lately due to a lot of irl circumstances. I can't really explain without giving away personal info. Nothing's bad. It's just mundane adult stuff lol. I love my peaceful, sometimes mundane life a lot. My cortisol levels have dropped a lot after school. If I become even more calm and stable by my 30s, that will be something to look forward to. I think I'll make pancakes and eggs for dinner tonight.

 I've been obsessed with DeviantArt stamps lately. I decided to make them somewhat specific lol. Can't stop, won't stop. I also still need to update my weekly PreCure page. I watch each episode on Sunday, I'm just lazy review-wise.... The Utena Shrine is coming. I'm going to add a section for the show, manga, and movie. Each episode will be in a table with symbolism, significance, and plot-progression. I've avoided all other analysis of the show, but don't expect for me to be too deep. I just want my initial thoughts to be pure at least.

What's New? (3/27/24):

Last Thing I Watched: Revolutionary Girl Utena and Go! Princess PreCure
Last Thing I Played: Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds and DRAMAtical Murder

  I've been busy lately in real life. I need to finish lots of artwork and continue to work on my site a little at a time. Recently I've been trying to take things slow and not get overwhelmed. I don't like feeling like a clock is constantly ticking in the background. Ugh.

  I'll rant more on this later, but I've been so sick of AI slop flooding search machines, art sites, etc. Recently people on Etsy have been AI-generating crochet patterns and pictures (yes really). It's harder for older people especially to tell. I've also seen so many drop-shippers or people blantly reselling cheap garbage from Aliexpress. It feels like the world has gotten even more fake nowadays which makes me a little sad. I wish we had more freedom from screens all day sometimes. I'm not ungrateful for technology nor do I want to live in a cabin in the woods, but I do wonder how our generation, our children, and our children's children will live in a world that's always changing. I guess it's ironic to say this as someone who consumes a lot of media and information every day, especially foreign media.

 I don't talk about reading books much on this site, but that's another thing I enjoy doing. I really loved We Have Always Lived in the Castle. I had fun discussing it with my friends and making up theories and our own takes on the book. It reminds me of Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh a little. Does anyone have any other reccommendations for books in similiar style, besides other Shirely Jackson books?

 Recently I've been seeing these dolls that seem popular in East Asian countries. I'm sure you guys might know what I'm talking about if you've been on similar spaces online lol. They are these fangirl plushie dolls of anime characters. They have chibi proportions, embroidered eyes and faces, heart-shaped nipples, and paw print hands. I have access to a sewing machine, but right now might now be a good time in my life to start sewing. It might look bad too lol. I was thinking of crocheting them, but idk how to get their faces down. Hm...

 Oh BTW, I'm going to eventually host all of the buttons on my button wall, so no more hotlinking! I don't do that unless the person is okay with it, but now it's way too annoying lol. I also am making new pixel icons for muh webring! Plus 57807590349 other things for my site. I don't know how people run out of things to put on their site. I have the opposite problem. Also I'm going to change this main page too to look nicer ^^

What's New? (3/16/24):

Last Thing I Watched: Revolutionary Girl Utena anime (1997)
Last Thing I Read: We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
Feeling: Excited, energetic, ready to take life on its horns

  Guys! Okay first off, I just ordered this yarn in bulky weight to make a blanket!! I'm thinking the sedge stitch. SOOOO Excited! Isn't it pretty? It's from Arcane Fiber Works in Enchanted Nightshade; they have the best yarn colorways *drool*. Seriously please check out their stuff, it will make you want to learn to crochet / knit. But other than that, I AM SO ANGRY. It's been way too humid on every weekend so far to give my new doll a face up with sealent! URGHhhh. I feel very happy, energetic, unstoppable almost. This isn't a mental breakdown or anything, I think I drank too much coffee and want to do for a run or do something. My excitement and frustration are taking ahold of me. Isn't it obvious I have too many hobbies? I think my energy levels are high due to spring coming on in full force. It feels warm again! Also please feel free to reach out if anyone wants to chat! I have an email, LINE, Telegram, and Discord and have made lots of good friends and acquaintances here on Neocities already! Ghosting is a-okay too, it happens! lol

 I myself am surprised on how often I update my website. I think since Neocities requires action (coding) on your end to make stuff happen, it forces a lot more creativity and individuality out. When I was mindlessly on Twitter or Tiktok years and years ago, the constant stream of information made me stressed. I used to focus on things and treads that never even mattered. I think now I can focus on talking about what I WANT and the interactions feel a lot more genuine. CHEERS!

What's New? (3/11/24):

Last Thing I Watched: Shougun (2024 miniseries)

 I finally got my crochet page up! Please go check it out! I'm also using that as a template for my media page and as a reference for my Wonderful PreCure page soon. I haven't forgotten about RVU or PreCure Sunday at all, mkay! I'm excited to finally have the ability to talk about whatever and then just constantly tweak the page lul (like the PreCure shrine). I'm getting better, bit by bit! I also might make a more indepth likes and dislikes page too!

 I think that I will make homemade butter chicken tonight as a special treat. I'll have to shower and get ready to go to the store soon. I'm also planning on meeting someone I haven't seen in a couple years, which is nice. I need to get more and appreciate this nice weather. (Too bad it's insanely humid for painting...) Yesterday I watched the first episode of Shougun with someone. I usually don't watch live-action stuff unless it's something I really like, but the first episode was quite good. It might be a Butter Chicken and Shougun night! Gokigenyou, minna!

What's New? (3/4/24):

Thing I Last Watched: Go! Princess PreCure and Revolutionary Girl Utena

 It's been forever since I've made major updates to this page, so hi! I'm excited to do a watch and review for RGU! Just as good as I remember it being! I technically have seen the anime, but it's been so long. I can't wait to rewatch all of it! I'm also trying to make some html updates and pages behind the scenes to improve this site. There's too many things I want to talk about, and my poor html skills are holding me back. I've done a lot of hobby work + arts and crafts this past weekend as well. 2024 is going by so quickly! Thank you to all who voted in the poll, Moomins and ARIA should be next then on the chopping block!

 If you are younger than me and reading this, it's definitely true that life goes by pretty quickly. I have a semi-ambitious dream, but the time to start working on it is now. It makes me feel stronger and stronger working past my anxiety. If I could tell my younger self something, I could say to "cast a net" out to more people. Most people are more alike than different, and different perspectives make the world an interesting place. Plus, you may never know who's going to be a new friend!

Update (3/8/24): iFrames are hard. I suck at html *sob*

Poll! (2/14/24):
Which anime should I watch / rewatch and discuss?
 
pollcode.com free polls

  Vote in my poll for a virtual cookie! Multiple votes are allowed and encouraged! I'm planning on discussing each episode of a series in a media section similar to my Weekly PreCure area^^ Happy Valentine's Day!

EDIT (2/26/24): I'm gonna keep the poll going to the end of the month! It looks like Fushigi Yuugi is in the lead! Just kidding. I'm excited to do a little watch and review for RGU :> I've been somewhat busy irl, but behind the scenes, I'm working on bringing lots of new things to this site. I haven't forgotten about Neocities, and I can't wait to keep growing my little web garden!

What's New? (2/8/24):

Thing I Did: Crocheted

Feeling: neutral

 Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of Ojamajo Doremi! How awesome! I love all of the characters, especially Onpu and Aiko. Maybe I'll draw a picture of Doremi.

I made a webring the other day! I tried to make as inclusive as possible for fans of female-oriented Japanese media. Happy with how the flower widget came out. Reccommend me more widget ideas! I'm also trying to figure how to crochet an anime doll for my friend's upcoming birthday. She really likes a character and wanna make her an amigurumi. Getting back into the swing of things. Valentine's day is coming up as well!

What's New? (2/2/24):

Thing I Last Watched: PreCure

Thing I Last Played: a well-known visual novel! I'm trying to get all the character routes hahaha *cries*

Feeling: happy, excited

 Yesterday was Pretty Cure day! It's crazy how it's been 20 years since the OG Futari wa. The first season was the one that I first watched a little more than a year ago, and it made an impact on me. Reading the light novel with Honoka's grandmother, Mipple's backstory, Shige, Taeko, and the additional Kiriya stuff made me feel more attached to the series as well. I'm excited to watch and read Max Heart (even though I hate Pollun). Hooray PreCure!

I put out some information about my "websona" and cute boy list. I think the orange ribbons make Angie's design a little better. I still need to make a bio for Chestnut. Ughhh. There's a billion things I want to do... I'm also thinking about making a yarn and fabric arts webring along with my crochet corner page ~eventually~.

What's New? (1/31/24):

Thing I Last Played: *still a secret! I don't like talking about games until after I play them a lot*

Feeling: cold

 This time I drew Cure Milky!!  Click here to see it!! The tablet makes things a lot easier to draw. My drawings look really amateurish, but that's okay. I have always enjoying drawing and playing around with colors^^ I can only get better from here, and I hope to develop my art a lot more! By the way, Lala's character song is so good if you haven't heard it before! ラ・ラ・ルン♪ I eventually want to put all of the PreCure art in my "shrine" and fix that page as well.

 This site always needs more aesthetic changes. There's a billion ideas I have, but I can be slow implementing them. Thanks to anyone who even reads this btw! I don't use the Neocities social media features very much, but I appreciate all of the friends and acquaintances I've made on this site.

What's New? (1/26/24):

Thing I Last Played: *secret*

Feeling: hungry

 I'm trying to draw a late-ish Dark Sky as well as redo my crochet. I've been lighting a lot of candles recently too. (I have to fix her hair-thingies in the sketch to make them symmetrical). I only like the ones that smell like food. Today is kind of quiet and gray. Also wondering what I should make for dinner tonight. I also kind of want to see if there's anyone active on Neocities with art commissions, but it's been surprisingly hard to find people open.

What's New? (1/25/24):

Feeling: Devastated

 I'm making an amigurumi and did something very stupid... I used the hook size on the yarn packaging... Now there's weird gaps in the head... I want to redo the head because it bothers me so much... This is the first time I've had this issue with amigurumi... Feeling kind of dead inside ngl...

What's New? (1/21/24):

Thing I Last Read: still Disney Twisted Wonderland: Episode of Savanaclaw
Thing I Last Watched: Knives Out

 I finished Cure Nyammy!!! Click here for a bigger image on my Wonderful Precure page! I'm so proud! I tried to draw her with her head leaning back to practice drawing in 3D. Do you like her? Thoughts, comments, questions, complaints? I actually need to figure out how to use the drawing tablet as well.. maybe I'll look at some tutorials today! What anime characters should I draw next??

 I also got a Pochacco Build-A-Bear... he's so cute it makes me want to scream and cry. I love how soft he is and how good it feels to hold him. So happy!

What's New? (1/20/24)

Thing I Last Read: Disney Twisted Wonderland: Episode of Savanaclaw
Thing I Last Watched: So I'm a Spider, So What?

 I decided to buy a drawing tablet for the first time. I've doodled digital art forever, but always with a mouse (yeah, I know). I'm excited! Maybe my art will be a lot better! Here's a WIP of Cure Nyammy. I still have no idea how my tablet works, but it's already a lot easier.

 I recently got minor food poisoning a couple days ago. I feel better, but wow. Make sure to take it seriously and don't eat anything sus! I reheated and ate some fully-cooked frozen nuggies and instantly felt bad... that's enough TMI for now!

What's New? (1/14/24)

Thing I Last Read: still Tokyo Mew Mew!
Thing I Last Watched: My Roommate is a Cat / 同居人はひざ、時々、頭のうえ。

 I crocheted Chestnut a star sweater! It's really amataurish, but I'm so happy! I haven't crocheted in a while, so I forgot how calming crochet really is. Can't wait to make Chestnut even more clothing! Read more about it here!

 Next week looks like it's going to be a good one. I've been achieving a lot of my goals in real life, but I also need to buckle down and work harder. It can be difficult sometimes, but I also try not to underestimate myself. I've also have to urge to buy more stuff, but I'm trying not to give in to buying things I really don't need.

What's New? (1/10/24)

Thing I Last Read: Tokyo Mew Mew [JP]!
Thing I Last Watched: Rewatching Hunter X Hunter (2011) again, my favorite anime!

Guys I have some big news!

My doll's name is CHESTNUT!

Doesn't it suit him well? I love his big brown eyes and hair! Other doll news, I'm working on crocheting some clothing for him! Yay! Since Chestnut is a 1/6 Azone, Blythe and Licca-chan clothes should fit. For now, I am making a sweater dress. The Wonderful PreCure art looks so nice, I hope it's like Tropical-Rouge! Oh and, I lovee reading through Tokyo Mew Mew again. Kisshu and Ichigo together (////)

What's New? (1/1/24)

Currently Playing: Still that video game I'm keeping secret plus Overcooked! Oh and I bought some new Visual Novels! yaay
Currently Reading: Still ハリー・ポッターと炎のゴブレット, 薬屋のひとりごと, and lots of random manga [JP]; Crime and Punishment, Giovanni's Room [EN]
Curently Watching: Still Mahoutsukai Pretty Cure! + some usual random stuff and guilty pleasures

 Happy NEW YEAR! Wow this page looks like a mess. I have ideas to fix it though!  I've recently been reading the Twisted Wonderland manga, and it's more enjoyable than I expected!^^ I don't know if I'll play the mobile game though since I swore off gatcha games. Might have to be an manga / anime-only casual fan. Oh well. What matters is that it's fun! I'm going to try to be less distracted and more determined this year. Hope your 2024 goes well too, reader!

What's New? (12/19/23)

Currently Playing: A certain very popular video game ♡
Currently Reading: ハリー・ポッターと炎のゴブレット, 薬屋のひとりごと [JP]; Crime and Punishment (need to finish!), Giovanni's Room [EN]
Curently Watching: Lots of seasonal anime + Mahoutsukai Pretty Cure! + more

 Christmas is just around the corner! I'm going to be enjoying this relaxing time as a non-NEET. All of my shopping is done, and I hope to chill with loved ones. I don't want anything, but just to see other people. I also need to get back into weight-training and cardio >.< ... my diet isn't terrible, but I have been slacking lately on nutrition goals. There's so much I want to do and so little time to do it!

What's New? (12/10/23)

Current Obsession: A certain very popular video game that I'm just starting to play with a certain very attractive character...♡
Currently Reading: ハリー・ポッターと炎のゴブレット [JP]; Crime and Punishment (need to finish!), Giovanni's Room [EN]

 I enjoyed going Christmas shopping recently. I bought my relatives something locally-made, and I think they will really enjoy it. I also got my mom some peach lip balm and am SO excited for when she opens the present! I already have too many books and things to enjoy already; I just want to spend time with other people.

I'm so excited to start playing this certain game muahahaha. I might be obsessed.

What's New? (12/5/23)

Current Obsession: PreCure; HiroPre, S☆S, WondaPre!
Currently Reading: 小説 となりのトトロ, ハリー・ポッターと炎のゴブレット [JP]; Crime and Punishment (need to finish!), Giovanni's Room [EN]

 What a long, exciting, and stressful weekend. If you know, you know. I am ready to get back into the Christmas grove. I'm looking at getting presents for my friends and family... the end of the month can't come soon enough! Eggnog, cats, chair, blanket, book...♡
 I found some old Japanese crochet books in my closet. I'm thinking about making a mini sweater for my doll, a Kururun amigurumi, or a bag. It's been a while tho...

11/20/23

Happy birthday Mai. I have been enjoying Splash Star so far.

11/17/23

This is quite cute... I can imagine the aftermarket for this figure would be quite extreme. Should I?

11/16/23

I have never seen this show, but I think the faux-anime style looks really cute and comfy.

11/11/23

 Alright, I know nothing about fashion at all, but this really bothers me. HOW DO I FIND CUTE CLOTHES THAT AREN'T GARBAGE QUALITY? Seriously, everyone complains about Shein and fast fashion crap, but nobody names alternatives. I have been wanting to throw out most of my clothes for a while and just get good pieces that all go together. I think I would look good in Japanese fashions meant for everyday, adult women. Or fashion vaguely inspired by the mid-century. I want to be comfy overall and have always preferred modest styles anyways.

 When I will eventually go through 90's Sailor Moon again, I might take tons of screenshots of all of the fashion even though I know all of that is online already. Look at the screenshot above. I want to wear what Asuka (leftmost, red) is wearing with different pants, what Laura (second-left, blue) is wearing, or what Minori (second-right, yellow) is wearing styled different. WHY DID NOBODY TEACH ME ABOUT FASHION? *sob* Even going to Pinterest, all of the clothing just links to Shein and other garbo-tier websites. I might have to do this all the hard way and research fashion magazines like I'm studying a subject in school. Plus I'm supposed to do a color analysis and analyze my body type, blah blah blah. Putting all of my points into fashion won't be easy, but the result is probably worth it. I want to look good for myself effortlessly.

11/4/23

Tropical-Rouge! Pretty Cure is amazing. That is all for now..... okay also, I found something exciting at the library... stay tuned.

11/3/23

I am going to go to the library to read and concentrate. It's nice just getting out of the house. You never know what you will find at your local library. I knew someone very sweet once who would go to the local library and really take advantage of the DVDs. Maybe we should come up with a term for library-goers... It would be nice to meet more people there as well.

10/30/23

I like the feeling of holding my cat and stroking him. I can feel the texture of his fur and the way he positions himself on me. I love holding another living thing and letting him trust me. What is it like to be conscious as a cat? How intelligent are they? Life would be so simple living instinctually. For now all I know that I love him and he loves me in his own way. I think I will be a good mother one day.